Living in Faith
The Tallest Order
Stephen Lau
The Tallest Order
Stephen Lau
Why It Is So Difficult
To Love Your Neighbor
As Yourself
by
Stephen Lau
To Love Your Neighbor
As Yourself
by
Stephen Lau
Jesus says: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. . . . Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:30-31) Likewise, Buddha asked us to practice loving kindness towards our fellow men.
However, it is easier said than done. To many, these practices are no more than abstract ideologies, meant to be ruminated, but perhaps not to be practiced. Indeed, it is so difficult to love your neighbor as yourself; it is another tallest order in life.
There are several reasons why you may not want to love your neighbor as yourself.
However, it is easier said than done. To many, these practices are no more than abstract ideologies, meant to be ruminated, but perhaps not to be practiced. Indeed, it is so difficult to love your neighbor as yourself; it is another tallest order in life.
There are several reasons why you may not want to love your neighbor as yourself.
| ˇ | Human beings are imperfect. Your knowledge of others is often incomplete: this affects your perceptions of others. Unfortunately, your judgment of others is often based on your own perceptions, as well as memories of your past experiences, which are also compounded of incomplete knowledge and hence distorted perceptions. To make matters worse, in spite of the imperfection, you may even expect some sort of perfection from others. Your neighbor can never truly live up to your expectations, and it is difficult to love totally someone who is imperfect. |
| ˇ | Pride makes you think you are better than your neighbor. Pride is the first of the Seven Deadly Sins. Human pride makes you focus on "self" such that you may be inclined to think your beliefs and convictions are right; your pride may prevent you from admitting that they could be wrong. This preoccupation with "self" may have made you acquire the "mine-is-better" attitude. This attitude makes you judge others, or proffer unwarranted advice. Worse, you may take this "mine-is-better" attitude to your churches, political parties, and social organizations. You may not want to appear biased or intolerant, so you learn to disguise it or even deny it. Your emphasis on diversity only reinforces your "mine-is-better" attitude in terms of differences and inferiority. In other words, deep down, you still adamantly believe that you are better and you are more right than your neighbor, who then becomes less likable and lovable to you. |
| ˇ | The Western cultures encourage freedom and the right of expression - even at the expense of hurting your neighbor. This may alienate you from loving your neighbor: you may think you have a right to express your emotions or vent your anger on your neighbors. |
| ˇ | Face-saving demands justifications, rather than changes, of misbehavior. If you do not love your neighbor, you always can come up with reasons or excuses of sort, such as someone is provocative, has an attitude, or is undeserving etc. |
So it seems that Jesus has set too high a standard for us to follow when it comes to loving our neighbors. But loving one's neighbor is the second greatest commandment from Jesus, and it complements the first. "Truly, I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me." (Matthew 25:45) So, if you cannot love your neighbor, how can you love God, who is more distant and abstract?
Loving your neighbor as yourself is difficult but not impossible: "With men it is impossible, but not with God" (Mark 10: 27). With faith, you can love your neighbor. Only living in faith can help you overcome the obstacles in not loving your neighbor as yourself.
Living in faith creates your mindset for loving kindness - a requisite for loving your neighbor as yourself. Mindset plays a pivotal role in human behavior: it becomes a habit or "second nature" to you.
Loving kindness is not about "an eye for an eye." Nor is it about your "rights." It goes beyond these. Loving kindness is an act of compassion that you consciously express to another individual simply because that individual has the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering as you have. Accordingly, your response is a reflection of your love for that individual as a human being, irrespective of the behavior of that individual towards you. Make no mistake about it, it does not mean that you accept, approve, or condone that behavior. Loving kindness is your response in an attempt to change the inappropriate behavior of that individual, and the outcome of your attempt does not affect your response to that behavior. If Jesus can forgive you, who are undeserving, He expects you to do the same to your neighbor. All you need is living in faith that will change you as well as your behavior. Living in faith creates the mindset for that challenge to overcome this tallest order.
Develop your mindset for loving kindness:
Loving your neighbor as yourself is difficult but not impossible: "With men it is impossible, but not with God" (Mark 10: 27). With faith, you can love your neighbor. Only living in faith can help you overcome the obstacles in not loving your neighbor as yourself.
Living in faith creates your mindset for loving kindness - a requisite for loving your neighbor as yourself. Mindset plays a pivotal role in human behavior: it becomes a habit or "second nature" to you.
Loving kindness is not about "an eye for an eye." Nor is it about your "rights." It goes beyond these. Loving kindness is an act of compassion that you consciously express to another individual simply because that individual has the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering as you have. Accordingly, your response is a reflection of your love for that individual as a human being, irrespective of the behavior of that individual towards you. Make no mistake about it, it does not mean that you accept, approve, or condone that behavior. Loving kindness is your response in an attempt to change the inappropriate behavior of that individual, and the outcome of your attempt does not affect your response to that behavior. If Jesus can forgive you, who are undeserving, He expects you to do the same to your neighbor. All you need is living in faith that will change you as well as your behavior. Living in faith creates the mindset for that challenge to overcome this tallest order.
Develop your mindset for loving kindness:
| ˇ | The mindset for gratitude Always be grateful for what you have. Gratitude changes your perspective of your neighbor's behavior. For example, if someone takes advantage of you, do not become angry; instead, be grateful that you are the victim rather than the victimizer. |
| ˇ | The mindset for positive thinking Smile more often. Keep complaints about people, things, and life in general to yourself - unless voicing them will effectively bring about positive changes. |
| ˇ | The mindset for seeing the good in others Always see the good in an individual, and give the benefit of the doubt. Remember, all people are created in the image of God. Focus on the individual, rather than the behavior or belief, which may not be pleasing to you. |
| ˇ | The mindset for reflective response Avoid being impulsive or rushing to conclusion without evaluating the circumstances. Always respond to God, not to your circumstances. |
| ˇ | The mindset for forgiving and forgetting Jesus teaches us not only to forgive but also to forget - the foundation of loving your neighbor as yourself. |
| ˇ | The mindset for sparing unwanted advice In spite of the good intention, spare your honest opinion, even if it is solicited. |
| ˇ | The mindset for living in the present The present is the only time that is "real" to you: the past was bygone and irrevocable, and the future is illusory and uncertain. Only the present is real. The present is a gift from God, and that is why it is called "present." Jesus says: "Give us this day our daily bread" (Matthew 6: 11); He never promises us a tomorrow. The present is the time to practice loving kindness - to love your neighbor as yourself. |
Loving your neighbor as yourself is not easy: it is a tall order. Loving God is even more difficult - a taller order. Living in faith - putting your love of God and neighbor into practice - is the tallest order. But that is the Golden Rule of Jesus: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12)
CopyrightŠ by Stephen Lau
The content of this site cannot be copied or reproduced in any form without the author's permission.
The content of this site cannot be copied or reproduced in any form without the author's permission.
Food for the Road - The road to forgiveness!
