The Gift of Grace in Human Relationships

Human relationships are complex and difficult. Jesus’ parable of the king settling debts with his servants (Matthew 18: 23-34) attests to the complexity and difficulty of interpersonal relationships.

The major source of conflicts in human relationships is the inability to fully comprehend God’s mercy - which is His gift of grace - something freely given, something totally unearned and undeserved, and something never to be repaid. Due to the lack of understanding of the mystery and significance of the gift of grace, or the refusal to believe something that is too good to be true, many of us, ironically enough, cannot and will not receive that gift of grace, although it is freely given to each and everyone of us.

Indeed, many Christians, read about grace, hear about grace in Sunday sermons, sing about grace in their hymns, and even believe grace in their heads, but they never fully live in the gift grace. They simply do not have the faith to live it out.

We need living in faith to believe in the power of grace; we need living in faith to believe that we are truly and totally forgiven through the gift of grace. The unforgiven become unforgiving, and the unforgiving will not be forgiven, and hence the vicious cycle of emotional conflicts and broken human relationships.

To illustrate, when you take your marriage vow, you solemnly promise to love and care for your spouse “for better or for worse.” But this is the tallest order in a marriage. Your marriage partner owes you a debt (or so you think!) because he or she falls short of your expectations. As a result, you become angry and resentful. Without God’s saving grace, you see yourself as unforgiven and unacceptable to God. In turn, you become unforgiving and unaccepting towards your spouse. The outcome may be a divorce or at best an unhappy marriage.

What you need is living in faith - faith that God has forgiven you for your shortcomings and wrong doings. Likewise, you become more forgiving and accepting towards your spouse for all his or her shortcomings and wrong doings. Jesus said: “. . . freely you have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8). Remember, a recipient of the gift of grace must also be gracious to others - a prerequisite, not a choice.

You have to allow God to do for you what only God can do, which is, in essence, giving the gift of grace. You have to understand, receive, and live out God's gift of grace, and this is living in faith.